You cannot disappoint me

“Nothing you become will disappoint me; I have no preconception that I’d like to see you be or do. I have no desire to foresee you, only to discover you.

You cannot disappoint me. “
-mary haskell

You are loved.

A mother says…sometimes my daughter goes to bed totally filthy…
…after a long day of play. Sometimes she likes the ritual of wiping her face and hands and getting all cleaned up with fresh jammies. But lots of times she doesn’t. And I’m not willing to have her scream so I get the satisfaction of cleaning her face…

I don’t want her to have a miserable life.”

What kind of life do you want with your children? There are no rules saying things have to be done a certain way. You get to make it up in a way that works for you and your family. Notice where the struggles are with your family and ask yourself…is it really worth it? Sometimes it is…you will have “bottom line” requests which you are unwilling to compromise about.

For most of us, however, we create far too many rules…for our children and for ourselves. We are not talking about permissiveness, but about conscious choice. What REALLY matters, and what doesn’t. Choose carefully. Consider new possibilities even if no other parents around you make those same choices.

One client of ours was struggling with brushing teeth. Every night, a huge battle ensued when everyone was most tired. Several possible solutions came out of our coaching session…
1. chew healthy gum (xylitol) more often
2. give child choice about when to brush, encouraging morning or another time when everyone is more fresh
3. let child brush own teeth, then you go in for the finish
4. new toothbrush and different flavors of tooth paste
5. sing song (raffi has one about brushing teeth)

Notice where you struggle with your children and decide to find a way to make things work better. Joy is the most important goal for every single day.

Ask us your parenting questions…


2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Grammy Eleanor  |  February 10, 2009 at 6:38 pm

    You are so totally into motherhood! Enjoy every moment — as it seems you are doing! I’m loving reading these newsletters. Love ya, Eleanor

  • 2. Grammy Eleanor  |  April 1, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    I loved the new pics today from the walk along the river with Papa & of course, the stories & conversation, as well as, the quotes. I really get teary-eyed reading such wonderful stuff! My grandbabies are growing & I can’t wait to see them in person. Love to all, E

    Happy April Fool’s Day


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