a third option

March 16, 2009 at 3:22 am Leave a comment

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It’s such a curious thing to me, this question of “but who am I if I look after my kids all day” and needing an “identity” and figuring out “something to DO for myself”.

What is that? So many of us feel it, we are even encouraged to feel it…”you need to do something for yourself”. Maybe. But…

I’m not interested in leaving my young children, and sacrificing their well-being, to pursue my own thing. (option one). That just wouldn’t be fun to me.
I’m also not interested in being a martyr, full of resentment because I stay with my children (option two).

I’m interested in a third option.
Nurturing my children fully AND feeling fulfilled, expanded, purpose-full and at peace, myself. I believe it’s possible.

There are a few basic assumptions that guide me.
1. Children who know that their mama (or consistent loving carer) is with them, available whenever they need her, can use all their energy for their own growth, discovery, learning. They aren’t wasting energy feeling stressed about when she will be back.
2. Being with my children stimulates deep growth in me…to remain present, to love unconditionally, to be real and authentic, to be aware and tuned in, to accept what is.
3. What is best for my children, also happens to be best for me, even if I can’t see that in the moment.
4. When I let go and love, drop my own busy-making agenda, become flexible and open, I evolve. Everyone benefits.

I am curious about this idea of needing an identity (or career, or other purpose, or insert whatever). You are not alone in feeling this way, our society is a great teacher of do, do, do. Yet, these are only pursuits of the ego.

Who you are has nothing to do with what you do. Who you are is bigger than all of this. Trust in that. And go back to building forts.

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Entry filed under: inspiration.

courage manifesting

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