when you say ‘don’t’ and your child does

February 5, 2009 at 4:40 am 1 comment

You are more powerful than you know. What you say becomes reality. So, when you say DON’T about anything, your child hears DO. Your child is not the problem, it’s that you are drawing attention to something and your child then focuses on that. Instead, change your language to ALWAYS SAY WHAT YOU DO WANT.

“Will you please swing that bat over here? That way all the kids stay safe.”
vs. “You’ll hit your sister if you swing that bat in here!”

“I want the stuffed animal to stay clean so I think I’ll move it off the table while we paint.”
vs. “Move the bear so it doesn’t get paint on it!”

“Play-doh is for play, for making little balls and animals, for squooshing and squeezing. Want some help?”
vs. “Don’t put that play-doh in your mouth it isn’t food.”

“I want you to stay dry so can I help you with that cup of water?”
vs. “Woah that cup is too big for you, you’ll get wet if you try to drink from that.”

“Are you comfortable?”
vs. “Is that shirt too tight?”

“Are you warm?”
vs. “You must be cold.”

“Here is your remedy so that you are healthy.”
vs. “Take yourremedy so that you don’t get sick.”

“Here’s your coat so that you stay warm.”
vs. “Put your coat on so that you don’t get cold.”

“I’ll hold your hand so that you stay on your feet while we cross the ice.”
vs. “I’ll hold your hand so that you don’t fall.”

It takes practice, like learning a new language (or re-learning your natural language). Your efforts will be profoundly valuable for you and your children.p2040234


Entry filed under: inspiration.

Imbolc. The stirring of the seeds. parenting as an adventure

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. heidi  |  February 6, 2009 at 4:37 am

    this is so helpful…thank you!!! i can’t wait to check your blog these days because you always have such an inspiring nugget or two posted 😉


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