Archive for February, 2009

Being attached and unattached

Let go.
Every minute is another opportunity for accepting everything exactly as it is. That’s the irony of attachment parenting. It’s all about sensing what to hold onto and what to let go of.
Hold onto your baby. All day every day, until she wants to go off by herself.
Let go of every expectation of how it is supposed to be.
How it IS is how it is supposed to BE.
Let go of going outside because some days are for inside.
Let go of cleaning up. You’ll get it done at some point. It always gets done, but right now something else is happening.
Let go of matching shoes.
Hold onto your connection. Let go of being right. Let go of being in control. You are SO NOT in control. Never were, actually.
Let go of writing this blog, because baby girl is calling.


February 28, 2009 at 5:31 am Leave a comment

happy birthday, larkin


February 24, 2009 at 4:09 am Leave a comment

puddles and passion


Upon waking at 6 something…
Mom, can I dress up like a goalie?
Of course.
Do goalies wear a chest protector?
Do goalies wear shin guards?
Do goalies wear a jersey and elbow pads?
Do goalies wear a penis protector?
Do goalies wear goalie skates and hold the stick like this and do they wear a special goalie mask?
C’mon mom. Let’s play.

February 24, 2009 at 3:31 am 2 comments

The Unprocessed Child: an excerpt

Realizing that Laurie was more important than any thing and treating her with respect gave her a trust in me that could not have happened otherwise. If a child is punished for breaking a lamp, the message to the child is that the lamp is more important than the child is. If the child has been raised in a free environment he feels badly enough about breaking the lamp without being punished. The punishment drives a wedge between the parent and child. If the child knows that he will be punished for breaking something, he will learn to hide or lie about any future mishaps. Accidents happen to us all and it is time to stop making children pay so heavily for their innocent mistakes. The fun they are having, the laughter that was filling the room, is more important than the lamp. Lamps can be replaced, while the laughter of children cannot.


February 23, 2009 at 4:01 am Leave a comment

Finding balance.

So many parents are seeking more balance. What exactly does that mean?

A sane, balanced and fruitful human life is a dance between the two dimensions that make up reality: form and space

e. tolle A New Earth

We lose our sense of balance when we are too focused on the ‘doing’ of life. Cluttered by material things, things to do, and things to think about, we lose ourselves and lose touch with what matters most: simply being present enough to experience all of it fully.

This too shall pass.

You can say that to yourself every time you feel yourself getting uptight. Every time you start to want to change things from being the way they are. Your children need you to BE. That means you are willing to stand in the puddle outside the grocery store for 45 minutes. If your life is to full of doing to allow for that, then make changes. They actually know better than you about what life is about.

There is nothing more important than this. This moment, right here.


February 22, 2009 at 3:59 am Leave a comment

What’s in your thoughts?

Whatever you are thinking about is planning, creating your reality. Every single thought, whether about the poopy diaper or the state of the world, is significant. You are an artist and you get to create this life.

What are you thinking about?

When you focus on what’s wrong, you get more of that. When you focus on lack, you get more of that. When you focus on problems, you get more of that. So do the old switcharoo.

Think about what’s working, what you are grateful for, what you love, what delights you. Say, “bring it on!” to all that you want. Watch your children for inspiration.

Yesterday, Sascha was face down in a pile of dirt and snow, crawling around, eating mouthfuls, grime dripping down her chin grinning and I could feel the worry thought creeping up behind me. I looked at my friend and she said “trace minerals”. Ahhh yes. Trust.
Babies have been eating mouthfuls of dirt forever and doing just fine.

Ego-generated emotions are derived from the mind’s identification with external factors which are, of course, all unstable and liable to change at any moment. The deeper emotions are not really emotions at all but states of Being. Emotions exist within the realm of opposites. States of being can be obscured, but they have no opposite. They emanate from within you as the love, joy and peace that are aspects of your true nature.

February 21, 2009 at 3:58 am Leave a comment

Be curious. Be kind.

What do you need?
May I hold you?
What’s happening for you?
He’s using that right now. Will this one work for you?
What are you feeling?
How can I help you?
Would you be interested in this?
Are you frustrated? Are you needing space?
Can I help you with that?
I would love to.
Will this work?
What if we tried it this way?
What’s your idea?
What are you hoping for?
What would you like?
What would you prefer?
What’s your opinion?

I’m so grateful for you.

February 19, 2009 at 4:21 am 3 comments

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