the fake parent

September 19, 2008 at 3:13 am Leave a comment

Believe in possibility and creative answers will come to you…

A true story…
A 7 year old girl who has not been sleeping well for a few nights. She is unsettled and unhappy and unable to sleep (and so no one else is sleeping either). On the fourth night, she gets up around 11pm and doesn’t want to go back to bed. She makes her plea…”please could one of you come to bed with me?” Her parents consider her request, but they are each involved in very enjoyable projects and don’t feel ready for bed. Hmmm. what to do. (This is when it would be so easy to insist and then enter the ‘battle zone’.) Instead, they stopped and listened. Such power in that. She wanted a companion to comfort her.

“What if we made you a fake parent to sleep with?” Of course! They built a person. Using clothing with mom and dad smells, stuffed with pillows, snuggled up beside her. She slept soundly after that. Weeks later, the fake parent lives, that is, sleeps on.

Ahhh yes. Creativity and inspiration help. And really listening for the need behind what your child is saying. It’s so easy to be triggered and annoyed and habitual in our responses…
‘go back to bed, it’s time for sleep’,
‘you’ll be fine’,
‘you’re old enough to sleep on your own’,
‘if you don’t stay in bed we’ll….’

How much more satisfying to find a solution which meets EVERYONE’S NEEDS. The crux is making a shift in your attitude so that you believe it’s possible and are willing to try.
When your child makes a request…let go of your conditioned way of thinking…
1. Consider the request seriously. Is there any way you would be willing to agree? Stretch yourself a bit here.
2. If you are not willing or able in that moment, then take a deep breath and put your own thoughts and habitual responses aside and LISTEN DEEPLY. What’s the need behind the behaviour?
3. Step back a little, especially if you are feeling angry or frustrated and take another deep breath. Ask for a solution to come to you…not necessarily from your thinking mind, but from your heart…what’s possible here that you haven’t considered.
4. Get beyond either/or thinking (either my child’s needs or my needs get met…) and imagine a third possibility. Then maybe a fourth.

Practice every day believing in possibility and watch it unfold all around you.
“Hmmm you want a balloon today? Well, I don’t have one and I don’t know where we will find one, but let’s just be open to it and see what happens.” (This is Law of Attraction in action.)

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